As any good English major will tell you, I work an 8-5, Monday through Friday job while I am writing my novel. I, being an overachiever, have 2 novels and a cookbook in progress. The first novel is my NaNoWriMo novel I wrote several years ago when my wonderful friend Melanie and I spent the month of November typing the ends of our fingers off for National Novel Writing Month. I have been slowly editing and re-re-re-re-re-writing it. The second is (and has been for about 2 years) in its infancy. Then there is my cookbook. This is a project near and dear to my heart. It is family recipes and the stories that go with them. However, also still in infancy. Sigh.
I have some great excuses for not writing though -- want to hear them? I have been married for the last 2 years ... that takes a lot of time and energy, especially when you are married to someone that does not understand the passion you have for the written word and your need to see your name on the spine of a book. In Barnes and Noble. Or as a free book on Kindle; I am really not picky. I have been busy -- I spent one year taking care of my wonderful beagle Sam who lost his battle with lymphoma a year ago last July. I have been busy since then taking care of the 4 other dogs living with me, Dixie, Noelle, Hunter and Baron. And the 3 cats, Divot, Patriot and Diesel. They take a LOT of time. Oh, and there is that whole full time job thing -- that takes a lot of time and energy too! Did I mention I also have a hot air balloon and I fly that every chance I get? Yup. That's right ... I'm a pilot! And I own a balloon. A BEE-YOU-TI-FUL balloon. Named Blew By You (for now, but that is another story).
However, a lot of those handy dandy excuses are getting ready to change. I suddenly find myself with a lot of free time on my hands ...
First, I am now a divorcee. It was finalized September 1st and I find myself somewhat at loose ends. It is disconcerting and I feel quite unbalanced these days. Almost like I am missing a part of me, but also like I have suddenly been freed. I find myself thinking, "I need to call and tell him I am on my way home ... wait, no, I don't." That is a strange gamut of emotions to run in a few seconds.
I still have dogs, of course. I have to have dogs. However, my darling Sam lost his brave battle with lymphoma July of 2010. Grant (the ex) let me get another beagle (Hunter) the month before Sam passed and I got Baron, a miniature beagle, in April. Dixie and Noelle have gone to live with Grant ... a good thing for all of us. It was too much for me to have to take care of 4 dogs, 3 cats, a house and a yard. Although if I am honest, the house and the yard (2100 square feet and a half an acre, respectively) are still a little too much for me. Either that or I am lazy. It might be a combination of both ...
The 2 things that haven't changed? I still have a full time job and I still fly my balloon every chance I get. Of course, since I lost the balloon truck in the divorce, that is a little harder to do these days! Although I am about to learn a lot about buying a truck ...
All of that said, I feel I am embarking on a new chapter in my life. A chapter I can write any way I want. I learned a lot of things over the past few years, both about myself and about other people. I have learned that you can't let other people influence the way you feel or convince you to feel things you don't. It doesn't matter how perfect anyone thinks a person is for you; if your gut says something different, you have to listen to it. There is a reason it is called "Women's Intuition" and you can't ignore it. I have learned that you have to learn to listen to yourself and do what is right for you. You need to find the balance of being able to love and care for another person without losing yourself. And you have to be able to find the strength to change things when you are losing yourself ... because if you do not have yourself, you really do not have anything.
